Fung "I"

50...

2011-05-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

Damn, I'm not liking the sound of that.

Saturday, I'll be 50 years old. Not young, so don't even try that one. 50 is old.

I can tell.

If I'm applying for work, adding the fact that 'I'm mature' scares away potential employers. Kids, (those people from 15 to 30) think they know more than me. Any advice I might have is faux listened to and probably discarded before it's saved.

I find I have less patience with children (those people from 4 to 23). Society deems them special little people that should be handed every little thing their heart desires. I don't agree.

I'm turning gray. My back and legs hurt all of the time. I think I need a hip replacement. True signs of being old.

I worry. I fear certain things. I've become a victim of theft. All signs of being old.

I want to be 32 again and have no fear. Life was enjoyable then. Money wasn't a problem and it seemed that the Government wasn't nearly as intrusive as it is now. I don't know for sure. I never paid attention then. After all, I was young.

I complain more now. Bitch about World issues. Another sign of being old.

I guess I need to face it. There is no turning back. I'm old.

Turning 50 is not reason for celebration. I'm having a crisis. Similar to the one I had at 40.

That one was serious, but, I survived.

Some days, the stress is overwhelming. I used to fear death and still do, but at times, usually in bed at night when the rush of thoughts overwhelm me, I say a silent prayer to who, I'm not sure. I say, now would be a good time. Exit swiftly, painlessly....gone...

My outward smile is a longing for a true friend. My inward sadness is knowing that, that will never happen. I'm alone, and that is a true sign of being old.

Happy birthday to me....

Days into Years

2011-04-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

I mostly forgot that this existed.

If I hadn't been looking at another blog, I wouldn't have remembered then, either.

As I read through my past entries, I realize that keeping a blog dormant isn't the smartest.

My attitude about many things has changed. Then, I like to think that I was carefree and wild. The past haunting, but easy to overcome. Since my last post, marriage for what I thought it meant has become nothing short of a lie. That relationship has been over for five years now and although it came as a shock, I'm better for it now.

I'm involved. Yes, she came to me when I least expected it. She made me a bet and of course I lost and the rest is history. We live together and have for the past year. Her daughter came along as well. So thrust into family life once again. I vowed to never take on that responsibility again.

I don't think that anyone is genuine as defined. I want to believe that some are, but I'm highly disappointed most of the time. I guess my expectations are set too high. I don't know.

I tell people that I'm happy and content and for the most part, I am.

It's been a struggle. Losing my source of income. The job went the way of the recession and I find myself not able to make ends meet. I'm not enjoying that. I feel less than adequate most of the time. Sometimes I take what is said as a slight. Sometimes I'm sure it's meant to be just that.

My camera bit the dust. I miss that a lot. I was learning to become a fair photographer. I can't afford a replacement at the moment.

I still have an avid love for the 5th Kingdom. I was meant with some disillusion in that regard as I've had to resort to selling my choice finds instead of enjoying them and giving them away. When one no longer goes to the forest for the sheer enjoyment of being there and plans his visits based on need for profit, it becomes work and I don't like treating nature that way.

I'm at a place in my life where I need to talk to someone that will listen and who understands. I don't think that person exists, so I talk to myself almost constantly. Doing so is in no way therapeutic and I believe it might be damaging, because the answers aren't very clear.

I hope I remember that I exist here on this blog, for lack of a better term and maybe I can ease my mind more often by writing here.

Until then....

It's been awhile

2007-07-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Yes it has. It's been a long while since I posted to the blog. Not for lack of anything to talk about. The drought is in full swing here in S.W. Ontario, and no rain means no fungi. I do go to the woods quite a bit but the fungi are few and far between.
I could talk about Dr. Ron Paul. He's a spirited congressman from Texas running for President. He's running under the Republican ticket, which is not good, but I could actually vote for this guy and probably will. If you happen upon this blog and have an interest in U.S. politics, google him up. He's very interesting.
I work Thursdays and Saturdays at a large farmers market where I sell mushrooms. Wild when I can find any, but the bulk of the sales are cultivated Agaricus like the common white mushrooms, Crimini and Portobello. We also sell Shiitake. I really enjoy the atmosphere there and the cultural diversity among the market-goers is very interesting as well. One of the many reasons I like Canada.
I've been doing a bit of photography lately. I captured a red fox the other day and she allowed me within 10 feet of her. That was awesome. I guess the local paper is going to print a couple shots. I've attracted a swarm of Hummingbirds to the yard this season with 4 feeders I have out. I enjoy their presence and photographing them is a challenge, but well worth it when a shot comes out as expected.
The other half of my relationship is away in Texas with her work. She'll be gone a month this time.
I suppose that's it.

2007-06-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

I just got done lounging around and watched Crash, the movie again. Sure is a good one with a powerful message. Sad thing is I don't think too many folks got the hint.
Mushrooms. Well, morel season is over. My phone is ringing off the hook for morel orders, but I'm out. I was only able to enjoy about half a dozen myself this Spring. I had to sell them to make ends meet. That's alright though. I was able to create a little happiness in a few folks lives. You should have seen the expressions of joy on the faces of the people that bought them from me. Satisfying to say the least.
Soon, the marvelous Cantherellus cibarius wil be fruiting along with some delectable Boletus and some Laetaporus sulphurus. Chanterelles, Boletes and Chicken of the Woods. Beautiful.
I've been home alone for a week now. Still not too sure I like being alone. Maybe for short periods of time.

Will I vote Republican in '08

2007-06-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

Up until last night, my answer would have been a resounding no way.I never have. However, I've been watching a fellow, and I think I believe him. I do take in to account his views on foreign policy, and I like what I hear. Ron Paul is his name, and well, I guess we'll see what happens.

I watch too much news

2007-05-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

At least I'm starting to think so. I have over 200 channels on a satellite connection and rarely watch anything but CNN and/or FOX news (yes, the shame of it). I recently heard a story about a heinous crime in Tennessee where a young couple was brutally murdered and now folks are debating whether it's a true hate crime or not, because the accused are black and the victims, white. I'm pretty sure I know the definition of hate, but yet it's odd to me how certain instances are considered hate while other things equally brutal aren't. The larger issue seems to be that the mainstream media hasn't so much as mentioned the story, while other crimes get headlines week after week. I don't know.......depressing.......I wish they had the Fungus Network, or the Mushroom Channel. Now that would be well worth viewing, wouldn't it?
I missed the BBC documentary "Planet Earth" on T.V., so I watched the first 2 episodes on YouTube. Fantastic view of our Earth. I wish we all could understand the intricate beauty the earth bestows upon us and quit all of the political hatred and warmongering. I wish.....

Fresh Morels

2007-05-27T17:05:00.000-07:00

Been a couple of weeks since I posted, but that's due to morel season and my lengthy solo forays out to the forests in search of the delectable edible fungi. It's been an incredible season so far and I expect to come across more morels before they finally disappear for yet another year. The other wild mushrooms are just starting to appear though, and although morels may be more popular to forage for, I have many others that I appreciate for the table even more than morels. I've been working for a friend on Saturdays at a very large farmers market operating a mushroom stand. I really enjoy interacting with the people as they come by. It seems that folks are intent on disproving my theory that people are inherently cruel as I find the folks to be friendly and always willing to share a moment, usually. Seems to be popular to bring the pet dog along. I guess if I had a dog I'd do the same thing. Well, until next time, keep looking down....

Morels at last

2007-05-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

Finally, yesterday evening in a flood plain, I found what would be my first morels of the year. Tiny delicate beauties that had just emerged. I left then to mature but did manage a few photographs. These little ones were scarcely a half inch tall, but perfect in every way.

The Cup Fungi

2007-05-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

Good news! We finally received some much needed rain over night. This will have to do if I believe the forecast for the next week, but I believe it was enough to get those morels poppin'!
I was out yesterday and did notice several of the cup fungi. Beautiful orange Sarcoscypha dudleyi or the "scarlet cup". And some rather bland looking but none-the-less interesting Disciotis venosa. These strange fungi are actually related to the Morchella. How cool is that. The mortar to the pestle if you will.
A Friend just called. We may check a river flood plain this afternoon for morels.

2007-05-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, no mushrooms here yet. The forecast rain has not shown up although it is cloudy today, so maybe.....
Most folks I've been hearing from are reporting a below average season. So many factors have to meld at the right time, and although the seasonal outlook might be good, a few windy nights with little or no rain, and hot 80 degree temperatures in early Spring can sure change the outlook, and fast. I did find one immature Esculenta last weekend, but it had dried out before it had the chance to develop.

Morel Mushroom Fever

2007-05-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

Folks that hunt for morels across the Midwest and East are about nuts right now. Excitement fills the air as they set out in search of their favorite fungi.
For those of you who have never experienced the ritual, you're missing out on something that is truly a part of nature. No matter what socio/economic background you come from, all of that is forgotten for a few precious weeks each Spring.

No Mushrooms Yet

2007-05-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

Another day in the life of me. I shaved off all of the hair on my head today. I figure if I sacrifice, I may reap a reward. Lord knows I could use a reward. Even an award would be nice. Recognition seems hard to come by these days. Too competitive. Elbows pushing for the spotlight. Smiles that mean nothing. Whispers overheard. What the hell. Text it. That way emotion isn't involved, unless one decides to interject it into the topic. Most do. Random........

I don't fish much anymore

2007-04-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

But I used to. Tournament bass fishing was a big part of my life for 10 years or so. I gave it up after the move to Canada.
I lived near the Sandusky River in Ohio and every year the Walleye made their Spring run up the river from Lake Erie to spawn. During that time anglers line the banks trying to catch one legally. A lot of snagging goes on as well, but DNR officers are normally intermingled amongst the anglers watching.
I had a lot of fun catching Walleye both on the river, and on Lake Erie.
Today I was over at Fanshawe Lake just up river from London, Ontario and happened upon a young man, waders on, rod in hand easing out into the river. I noticed he had a jig tipped with a twister-tailed grub. I wondered if he was fishing for walleye. It didn't take him long to catch the first one. A nice young jack.

Rain has Arrived

2007-04-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Much needed rain is here today. I spent a good deal of time in the woods yesterday and didn't see any fungi. The wild ramps are up very nicely. The ground seemed dry and wind swept. Amazing how fast the need for rain arrives after the wet Winter. My friends in Michigan are starting to find beautiful, fresh Morchella elata.

Spring, I think

2007-04-21T17:06:00.000-07:00

Today was kind of special. Spring is here. With 70+ degree temperatures, I spent about 4 or 5 hours in the forest today looking for what has eluded me since my move to Ontario. The black morel. Morchella elata. I have hunted morels now for 20 odd years, and with good success, but since my move here, black morels seem to not be in the "normal" environments. So I try and find clues. Speak to people that "know". I feel that this year I may find M. elata. Of course, I was sure I would 5 years ago.
Yellow morels will appear here soon. In about 3 weeks.
My feet hurt. I gained weight this past Winter.